2014 NFL Third Quarter Power Rankings

According to the Caveman

We only have one more quarter of football left before the playoffs. Can you handle the new power rankings?

32. Oakland Raiders (1-11) – After getting their first win of the season against the Chiefs, the Raiders put themselves back where they belong after the most ridiculously lopsided 52-0 poop show the NFL has seen in a long time.

31. Tennessee Titans (2-10) – This team is poopier than I had ever imagined. I can’t believe how bad they are.

30. New York Jets (2-10) – They have played some pretty good teams pretty tight. But the fact remains – they’re horrible and have no quarterback.

29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-10) – The worst team in the (by far) worst division in football. ‘Nough said.

28. New York Giants (3-9) – Time to blow up the Coughlin reign. Thanks for the 2 Super Bowls! Bye-bye! Now back to the old drawing board…

27. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-10) – The Jags leapt up this time around. See, unlike these other poop teams, the Jags have a slight glimmer of future hopefulness.

26. Carolina Panthers (3-8-1) – Yeesh, I know this is a broken record, but this team is awful. Brutally, brutally awful.

25. Washington Redskins (3-9) – Gosh, there are so many bad teams this year. In an average NFL year, this Redskins team would be 3rd or 4th worst in the NFL. Yet look at all the horrible teams below them. Blech.

24. Minnesota Vikings (5-7) – Mediocre!

23. Chicago Bears (5-7) – Mediocre! But they beat the Vikings…

22. Atlanta Falcons (5-7) – The Falcons are tied for the division lead (and thus a playoff spot) which gives them hope. But not real hope. Just a fool’s hope.

21. New Orleans Saints (5-7) – The Saints are bipolar and baffling. But they will make the playoffs due to an incredibly easy schedule: Carolina, Chicago, Atlanta, and Tampa Bay.

20. Houston Texans (6-6) – The Texans are STILL the only team with a .500 record. That’s crazy.

19. Cleveland Browns (7-5) – I’m really pulling for the Boys in Brown. But they just don’t have “it”. That said, a 9-7 season would be a huge step forward for this struggling franchise.

18. San Francisco 49ers (7-5) – Kaepernick is a horrible quarterback. If the Niners still had Alex Smith under center, I think they’d be a much more legitimate threat. But now, the Niners are all but done for the season. Shout out to Kevin!!!

17. Pittsburgh Steelers (7-5) – Losing to the Saints at home does not do good things for your image.

16. Buffalo Bills (7-5) – The Bills have a BRUTAL schedule remaining, playing the (Spoiler Alert) 3 best teams in the NFL in their last 4 games. Good luck, Orton. Hahahahahaha. Trololololol.

15. St. Louis Rams (5-7) – If the Rams had played like they’re playing now all season, they would not only be in the playoff picture, but probably competing for the division lead. Unfortunately, it’s too little too late. Even if they win out, a 9-7 record will not get them in.

14. Kansas City Chiefs (7-5) – How do you lose to the Raiders??? How???

13. Baltimore Ravens (7-5) – The Ravens look tough at times, but they can only beat bad teams, and the choke against San Diego at home says it all.

12. Miami Dolphins (7-5) – Despite the Dolphins’ scare with the Jets on Monday night, they are a really good team, and will be the 6-seed in the AFC playoffs.

11. Dallas Cowboys (8-4) – The Cowboys are slowing down. They have to be careful, or they might miss the playoffs in a tough NFC.

10. Indianapolis Colts (8-4) – Why are they so low? Because they haven’t beaten anybody good yet. Their four losses are to Denver, Philly, Pittsburgh, and New England. If you can’t beat good teams, you’re not a great one.

9. Cincinnati Bengals (8-3-1) – The Bengals’ tie-ridden record is close to the best in the NFL. But the team just doesn’t look good. They will likely win their division, but I’d bet anything that they’ll get knocked out in the first round. Again. For the 4th straight year.

8. Arizona Cardinals (9-3) – The Cards are taking their yearly fall back to earth after a strong start. I still absolutely love their coaching staff, but you also need a good QB to win big in this league.

7. Detroit Lions (8-4) – The Lions are no longer in control of the NFC North. They’re good, but they’re competing with the Seahawks, the Cowboys, and the Niners for 2 Wild Card spots.

6. San Diego Chargers (8-4) – Only one game out of first place in the West, the Chargers are without question the third best team in the AFC after the 2-headed monster of Denver and New England.

5. Seattle Seahawks (8-4) – Ack, I hate having them so high, but they look like they have fixed whatever issues were plaguing them during the middle of the season. My hopes of them missing the playoffs are all but dead.

4. Philadelphia Eagles (9-3) – If Mark Sanchez doesn’t singlehandedly lose games, the Eagles are in great shape to make a deep playoff run.

3. New England Patriots (9-3) – I still think the Broncos would beat the Pats on a neutral field. But if the AFC championship is played in NE, the Pats will likely be going to the Super Bowl.

2. Denver Broncos (9-3) – How do you defend against this offense? Just when teams started figuring it out (culminating in the Rams game), the Broncos add, seemingly out of nowhere, the most deadly rushing attack seen in Denver since Tebow. The grit has FINALLY arrived.

1. Green Bay Packers (9-3) – There is no doubt that the Packers are the best team in the NFL right now. Offense, defense, and QB – all spectacular.

Third Quarter Power Rankings (Part 2)

By Kevin G

POWER RANKINGS

(Sorry this is so late in coming)

32. Houston Texans (2-11) – How can they not be at the bottom? They just got bullied by Jacksonville. Ouch. (Bye bye Gary Kubiak!)

31. Washington Redskins(3-10) – It’s all bad in Washington. Shanahan will be the next Head Coach to be sent packing. RG3 is like the young gun in the MLB who throws 100. Great for a while, then teams figured out how to hit him.

30. Atlanta Falcons (3-10) – They seem to give a good fight week in and week out and their injuries are just stupid at this point. 3-10 will always get you a spot at the bottom (these guys were my Superbowl pick…whooops)

29. Minnesota Vikings (3-9-1) – They may have just lost Adrian Peterson to a foot injury and if that’s the case then they’re left with ONE player on the team with any skills and that’s CorDarelle PAtterson.

28. Cleveland Browns (4-9) – They were so so very close to moving up on this list but just couldn’t finish the game vs the Patriots. Browns best case scenario is losing the rest of their games and getting a high 1st round pick.

27. Buffalo Bills (4-9) – They just can’t find ways to win games. Talented enough…blame the coaching? Buffalo and Cleveland are just towns that are meant to suffer maybe?

26. Oakland Raiders (4-9) – The Raiders are just a team built on hope and dreams and unneeded speed. They don’t really have a QB and they won’t be competitive until they do.

25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-9) – Tampa Bay has been playing their butts off and have saved HC Greg Schiano his job. Still, Glennon at quarterback? Not sure how long that will last.

24. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-9) – Most exciting 4-9 team I’ve seen in a while. Well coached, a hot a QB and an underrated defense. I root for them to win every week!

23. Tennessee Titans (5-8) – The Titans just got manhandled. Given, it was by the Broncos and Peyton Manning went stupid robot like crazy style on them in the freezing Denver air. The team didn’t show me much…

22. St Louis Rams (5-8) – The best word for this team this season (excepting a few games from Tavon Austin) is; boring. They have no spice to their game and can be unbearable to watch. Brutally tough division as well.

21. Pittsburg Steelers (5-8) – Played competitively to the end in a crazy game against the Dolphins. an inch to the right for Antonio Brown’s foot and the Steelers would be 6-7 and looking at a wild card spot….alas not to happen.

20. New York Jets (6-7) – OK so they won on Sunday against a bad Oakland team…this team is dysfunctional and often times pathetic.

19. New York Giants (5-8) – They had a chance to win that division…up until when they lost last week in a rout by San Diego. Is anyone still arguing that Eli is as good as Peyton?

18. San Diego Chargers (6-7) – They whooped up on the Giants but I think you will see their true colors this Thursday in Denver. Chargers have been a nice story all year but they’re not a very good team.

17. Baltimore Ravens (6-7) – These guys somehow find ways to pull out games they should never have won. They did it again this Sunday against the Vikings. I just don’t see enough talent for them to be very good. I hope they get that second wild card so the Broncos can open up a can in the playoffs.

16. Green Bay Packers (7-6) – They have somehow stayed in the playoff race even without Aaron Rogers. Thank you to the division for losing key games.

15. Dallas Cowboys (7-6) – How do you get that killed by the Bears?? This team is so two faced it kills me!

14. Chicago Bears (7-6) – Huge game Sunday against the Boys but can McCown really be the answer?  Killer offense in the making.

13. Detroit Lions (7-6) – Somehow they’ve managed to let this division possibly slip from their grasp. Calvin Johnson deserves to be in the playoffs but not so sure about the rest of the team.

12.  Miami Dolphins (7-6) – Dolphins got a huge win against the Steelers and I really think they can beat the Patriots at home! Go phins!

11. Arizona Cardinals (8-5) – They have a really good defense and Palmer is somehow not losing them games…this team is a scary quiet 8-5

10. Indianapolis Colts (8-5) – They’re lucky they’re in a crappy division. They have gone from OK to not very good since Reggie Wayne got hurt for the year. Very not scary team in the playoff picture.

9. Philadelphia Eagles (9-4) – This team could be legit. I’ll be the first to admit that I had written them off as dead about six weeks ago. Big props to Nick Foles for putting on his big boy pants and playing some killer ball.

8. Cincinnati Benglas (9-4) – They play REALLY well at home but I’m still not a believer in Andy Dalton or this team in a high pressure games.

7. Carolina Panthers (9-4) – Really good team but they showed some flaws in their game against the Saints. They have the pass rush and rushing game to make it interesting in the playoffs.

6. New England Patriots (10-3) – They’re winning games and that’s all that matters…except on a Power Rankings…Pats are in big trouble losing Gronk

5. San Francisco 49ers (9-4) – They’re getting healthier and could be a real force in the playoffs. That NFC West is one of the best divisions I’ve seen.

4. New Orleans Saints (10-3) – Their offense is just stupid good. Defense has played well but I’m not a believer.

3. Kansas City Chiefs (10-3) – They whooped on the hapless Redskins but they have to beat a good team before I really believe they’re legit. Still a great story.

2. Seattle Seahawks (11-2) – You can’t fault them for losing a tough game in San Fran. They just don’t have the GREAT offense that it usually takes to win in today’s NFL. Easily the second best team in football though and maybe the best!

1. Denver Broncos (11-2) – OK, maybe I’m a homer but you could put either of the Broncos or Seahawks at 1 and I’d be OK with it. Broncos offense is just the best offense ever assembled and I think we are starting to really see that blooming. So fun to watch them just shred defenses.

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