Well, the phrase “go big or go home” is probably overused, especially in the sports media industry but I want to really show how confident I am that the Broncos will win this Sunday. Not only win, I am supremely confident that that Orange and Blue will wipe the floor with the New England Cheatriots. The field at Mile High will be covered with the blood and tears of the Patriots players after a brutally devastating defeat at the hands of the Broncos.
I’m going to put my money where my mouth is…or at least I’m going to put my body on the line for this Championship game. I have the onions to do it and I’m sure there are no New England fans with guts enough to match my bet but the bet will go on.
Without further eloquence, I, Kevin Gillikin do solemnly place these conditions and will follow them to the letter or suffer extreme consequences:
IF Tom Brady has a better quarterback rating by the end of the day, I will go the next day, buy wax and manually tear the hair off my right leg with the heated wax. I will video tape the whole event and post it online for all to see.
IF Peyton F******* Manning has fewer than 300 yards passing on the day, I will go the next day, buy wax and manually tear the hair off my left leg with the heated wax. I will video tape the whole event and post it online for all to see.
IF somehow, someway the hated Patriots, the cheaters, the evil Empire with the evil Lord Belicheat and his stooge henchman Darth Brady…IF they come in and somehow find a way to beat the best offense ever assembled in DENVER with a roaring crowd and the greatest QB of all time… IF that happens, I will go the next day, buy wax and manually tear the hair off my chest and torso region with heated wax. I will video tape the whole event and post it online for all to see.
Don’t worry Denver fans, I AIN’T scared because I have 100% faith that this team is a team that is meant for the Superbowl. No more of this, “well it’s the Patriots and they find ways to win” crap. I don’t care if they had a dynasty ten years ago or if their coach is the best in football when he cheats or if Tom Brady wins 12 games with nobody to throw the ball to. I DON’T FREAKING CARE! This is our EFFING time to win! They are coming to OUR house, against OUR great QB and OUR greatest offense in history. All the pundits and whiners and little girly men out there who are worried that boys in orange will lose on Sunday can come on Monday and kiss my still hairy legs (and butt while you’re at it) and learn that there are times to fret and there are times to be cocky and this is a time for cockiness.
PFM is going to get the “bad in the playoffs” stigma off his back , Champ Bailey will finally get his Superbowl victory and Broncos’ fans in Denver and all around the world will have that glorious day (or year) in February where we can drink and scream and brag and hold our heads high as the fans of the Superbowl champion, Denver Broncos!!!!